Bohemian Cinema By Jonathan Pacheco

For the Love of Hog!

Tags: Wild Hogs, Blockbusters, Theaters, Watching Movies, People

One of the stories of the year so far in regards to the comedy film genre has been the success of Knocked Up. Critics seem to love it, fans seem to love it. But I fear that the story of another comedy long-thought over is still continuing, and its existence is disturbing.

I’m talking about Wild Hogs. Remember that movie? The one that critics hated (16% Rotten Tomatoes)? The one that also made a lot of money at the box office (consider its opening weekend gross of nearly $40 million compared to the $25 million that the much-superior Grindhouse barely squandered in its entire theatrical run)? The one whose director publicly asked what was up with all the haters?

There’s an error in that last paragraph; did you notice it? Let me help you. Here’s how the fourth sentence should read: The one that is also making a lot of money at the box office. Yes, Wild Hogs is still in many theaters—dollar theaters, but theaters nonetheless. People, Wild Hogs came out at the very beginning of March, and nearly 5 months later, moviegoers are still lining up at the cineplex to watch it—oh, I’ve seen them. I hear them say, “Two for Wild Hogs.” I know people who know people who talk about it at work: “That movie was hilarious, Wild Hogs!”

But the general impression I got from everyone one was that we were all in agreement: watching Wild Hogs = Instant Death. So who broke ranks? Which one of you did it?

I guess my impression was wrong, because I look online at IMDB and Yahoo! Movies and I see “fans” reviewing Wild Hogs, calling it “the best family film in years!” “Hilarious! GREAT movie!”

And now because of the stupidity of the general public, that’s an auditorium that’s taken up by Wild Hogs that could have been showing a worthwhile film. Before Knocked Up showed up, this was the most prominent comedy film of 2007; is that not disturbing? Is this really the best we can do? Have we lowered our standards that much?

The worst part is that this film is going to make so much more money when the DVD comes out (next month, I believe—will it still be in theaters then? Maybe…). Because the film was such a big success, more like it will come—heck, there’s already talk about a sequel! What kills me is that my main man, Bill Macy, was involved in this debacle, and now they’re going to ask him to do more of them. My guess is that he’s going to say “Yes,” because hey, it puts money in his pockets, right? It’s about time he showed his desperate housewife that he can bring home the bacon too! Bill, why have you forsaken me? What happened to Boogie Nights, to Fargo, to Magnolia, to The Cooler, to Pleasantville?

For the film to last this long, there has to be some sort of good word-of-mouth going for it. What do we do about this? Do we start a campaign to spread bad word-of-mouth? Will that stop this ruination once and for all? Probably not. We breath a sigh of relief when we see an Apatow & Co. film, but trust me, Frat Pack films do not outnumber the likes of Wild Hogs and Norbit.

For the record, I have not seen Wild Hogs. If that makes me a hypocrite, than a hippogryph am I.