Bohemian Cinema By Jonathan Pacheco

The “Seinfeld” Connection

Tags: Seinfeld, Personal, Relationships

I started watching Seinfeld after it had finished its run on TV; I taped reruns off of NBC, CBS, and any other channel that chose to air it. This all happened during high school, and I became so obsessed with the show that I began to recite scenes and entire episodes to people; everyone knew I loved Seinfeld (and loathed Friends). I even went around claiming to have the “Kavorka.”

John Rohlich wasn’t my best friend in high school, but he was the guy I loved being around because he was non-stop fun. To make things even better, Rohlich wasn’t a Simpsons-or-die kid like all the other “funny guys” in my grade; he and I got into Seinfeld around the same time. Each day, we’d come to class talking about the episode the night before, attempting to imitate George Costanza yelling “I am NOT O’Brien! Jerry! Jerry!” or, of course, “Okay, you wanna have sex right now? Let’s have sex right now! Let’s go! C’mon, baby!” As shallow as it sounds, this was our relationship for a long time.

When I went to boarding school, I brought my PC with a hard-drive full of Seinfeld episodes; TVs were not allowed in the dorm rooms so we had to be clever. I met Israel at Ozark Academy, and, while he liked the show, I think my rabid enthusiasm really got him into Seinfeld. There were times when he would just come to my room, sit at my desk, and watch an episode on that CRT monitor 8 inches away from his face; Israel was my new Rohlich.

After one of Israel’s shows in Denton a year or two ago, a group of us were talking and hanging out in an empty field, and I remember Israel saying that our relationship basically consisted of us quoting stuff like Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Annie Hall to each other. He meant it in a good way; he meant that I was always fun to be around, and that it was a special, unique kind of relationship that he had with no one else. But it made me realize that a lot of my relationships are like that—does that even count as a relationship?

Age-wise, my closest brother is 4 years older than I am. My entire family absolutely loves Seinfeld (or at least the guys do), but myself and this specific brother love it the most. It’s a shame that we’re never on the same team in games like Taboo because we have a Seinfeld connection for everything. We broadened our horizons to include classics such as Zoolander and You’ve Got Mail (“She was the nanny?”), but Seinfeld was always king for us. Things are a little different now since, you know, we’ve grown up, but for a long time, that was the only way I “bonded” with people like my brother.

It’s strange and depressing to think that for almost 7 years, I’ve used George, Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer (and Newman, and Peterman, and Puddy…) as a crutch in my effort to communicate—or at least in my effort to not feel awkward. It can’t be healthy, can it? I’m guessing you psychologists out there will say, “No,” yet I think it’s kind of neat. At the risk of sounding cheesy, it’s interesting to think that TV and film can help people relate. It can help us connect.

Seinfeld? A show about “nothing?” Help us “connect?” No, don’t laugh at me—I’m keeping it real here. Some guys need sports to connect; some guys need pot. I just needed a little “nothing.” So what’s wrong with that?