Bohemian Cinema By Jonathan Pacheco

What’s Wrong With This Picture?

Tags: Theaters, Blockbusters

Checking around to see what times I could catch Bug, I came across what you see above. Something’s wrong with that picture above; can you guess what it is?

If you can’t, then you’re thinking too hard. Allow me to break it down for you.

The name of the specific movie theater in question is “Cinemark Allen 16.” “Cinemark” as in the company, “Allen” as in the city the theater is located in, and “16” as in the amount of screens the theater houses. Sixteen screen, sixteen films, right? Not the biggest theater, but still a pretty good amount of films to choose from—I’m not complaining.

So let’s see what’s currently playing:

1. 28 Weeks Later
2. Bug
3. Fracture (still?)
4. Georgia Rule
5. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
6. Shrek the Third
7. Spider-Man 3

I’ve always considered myself to be particularly skilled at the mathematics. I haven’t had any classes in a while, but I’m 97% sure that 7 does not equal 16.

Using deductive reasoning, word-problem solving skills, and a keen sense of time and space, I can only conclude that this mathematical anomaly can only be attributed to the fact that 3 of the 7 films present are hogging up the rest of the screens.

I hate the fact that 3 films are using up over half of the theater’s screens. I hate that people are okay with this. I hate that people are actually plopping down hard-earned cash to support this kind of business. I hate that people are actually contributing to record-breaking box office numbers for three films that are, without argument, subpar—subpar when compared to their predecessors, and certainly subpar when compared to many other films out there.

I’m really starting to hate “blockbusters.”